those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
