I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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