you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize