By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
