I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
my shit smells like andre
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I will pee on everything he values.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize