So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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