I accidentally burped into my bong.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
