Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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