so that wasnt chicken after all
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
