also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
