First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
