My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
