All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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