I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
