I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
