their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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