There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When did angry sex become our thing?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize