my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
