Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
