what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
