I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
