Farmville is her only friend.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
