all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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