He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
