my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
