Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
