pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
