Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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