I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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