Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
