This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can feel your judgement through the phone
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
