I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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