what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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