someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
