Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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