hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize