I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
