your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
