just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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