So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You made out with two different species that night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
