i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
