So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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