Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
