If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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