just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
