I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize