debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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