I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize