Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
