Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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