it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
