You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
