Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
