I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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