census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
