I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so explain again why im purple
no
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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